ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Help. Why am I so naked?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
