haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize