then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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