he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize