Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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