Dual....:-)
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
