I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
