I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
