TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize