I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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