oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
