I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You made out with two different species that night
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
