your thong is hanging out like whoa
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
