Sponge bath it is.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
