Is it normal to miss your booty call?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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