You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You smell like stripper and shame
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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