Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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