So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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