We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
