it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
