He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
