Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
