if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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