he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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