Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
