just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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