Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize