just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
