I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
