found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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