KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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