i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
