i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
