dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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