Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
