She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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