just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Is it penis luge time yet?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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