I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
