omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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