She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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