Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
