i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
