Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I FOUND THE LEGS
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
