Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you traded sex for a burrito?
im holly from the hills drunk
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
