Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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