Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
