i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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