i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
