Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
