If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
