I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
we're so committed to being not committed
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
