When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
