do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
