i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize