And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
