who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
