it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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