Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
