I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So much rum. So many feels.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
