JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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