So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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