This is not my ceiling
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
