what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
