My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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