The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
